“Why is this happening to me?”
My answer is, “Drop the question”.
Why do we ask Why? It’s because we want an explanation to justify to ourselves why we need to accept a certain happening. However the pursuit of an answer overshadows and envelopes us, keeps us engrossed to the point where we lose sight of the reason we asked Why? in the first place.
We get entangled in a quagmire of questions in the pursuit of answers.
The question Why?, while thus starting out as a means to an end – the end being, getting an answer in order to be satisfied, and as such being able to move on – ends up becoming an end in itself – as in getting an answer becoming our focus, preventing us from actually moving on – and thus becomes an impediment to our happiness.
Any way we justify them, all explanations are just that; explanations; and are worthless as their pursuit detracts from being happy, regardless of what the answer is to the Why.
The definition of failure follows one’s ideas of what success is. I believe that success is being happy, yet unhappiness isn’t failure; it’s a temporary, passing condition, so recognize it for what it is.
Money may not be the answer to all problems but it does make life a bit easier. Knowing that you don’t have to choose between feeding your kids or yourself, you aren’t one paycheque from being homeless and your car won’t be repossessed, has to make you feel a little happy. But beyond that, there are completely miserable and bitter wealthy people. Many truly believe (even if it’s subconscious) that the diamond ring will make them happy, that luxury goods will make them happy, the big house will make them happy. It doesn’t.
The problem is that people don’t seem to realize that no amount of money or “things” will ever bring any kind of real “life satisfaction”. It will bring some comfort, luxury and ease of living (maybe), but nothing more. Not even if money is simply considered a form of security, because they are tons of financially secure miserable people.
While arrogance or lack thereof is all about character and not how much you have in your pocket, money and/or the stuff, anything from a 2-carat diamond ring to placate the wife at home to the women at the strip club that you buy with that money, does exacerbate the problem. He who has the gold, makes the rules. Sometimes the money maker is not arrogant, the people (family members, friends) around the money maker, using his/her money are arrogant.
Then people crave something more, something priceless that money can’t buy. Like love. But unfortunately, once they find love, they forget why they sought love in the first place; because money and everything it could buy, bought them no happiness. So they look for money to complement the love, which is reasonable to the point it fulfils one’s basic needs, not numbs one to reality and brings one back into the situation where one was willing to swap money for love.
Do not seek to be loved at any price, because love has no price.
— Paulo Coelho
“A genuine, affectionate smile is very important in our day-to-day lives.” ― His Holiness The Dalai Lama XIV
“We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.” ― His Holiness The Dalai Lama XIV
“I believe the twenty-first century can become the most important century of human history. I think a new reality is emerging. Whether this view is realistic or not, there is no harm in making an effort.” ― His Holiness The Dalai Lama XIV
“If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.”
“Often, you can tell a lot about people not by who they say they are, but by the chasm between what they say they stand for, and what they do.”
“Your beliefs don’t make you a better person. Your behaviour does.”
“I have learnt, I came alone and I have to go alone. I have learnt, some people are with you only when they need you, not otherwise. I have learnt, if you care for someone too much you will be hurt and ultimately blamed. Ultimately, I have learnt, love someone but not so much that you forget to keep some love for yourself.”
“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.”
“Don’t always look for happiness, sometimes you may just have to create it.”